Tuesday, April 17, 2007

WEEK 9: Country Fried Idol

News Flash: American Idol sucks this year. I don't care about this crew, they are soft and weak. I mean, we are down to seven contestants and we still need to get rid of Phil and Sanjaya. I won't even miss Chris or Lakisha as they are eliminated, and of Jordin, Blake, and Melinda in the top spot, WHO CARES? Even the crappy and repetitive Ford commercials suck. If I hear that "you gotta live on the edge" sample again I am going to have to take off a shoe and hold it up to my chin to catch the VOMIT coming out of my mouth. In past seasons I would be secretly dialing until midnight to be sure that Clay Aiken made it through to the next round, but I am not even going to watch the elimination show until the last 5 minutes.

Production note: Martina McBride's eyes were creepy white in the center like an android. Fox needs to get a new on-site lighting crew to avoid making a very attractive woman look like an artificial symbiant. Ryan's banter with Simon is inane, and Randy couldn't be more difficult to understand without speaking another language entirely (BOYYYYYY!).
Paula is the least annoying of the three tonight, and that is saying A LOT. On a more positive note, my gut tells me that this is definitely Sanjaya's week to go, I think. It's either that or I need to eat something.

Who should go this week:
Sanjaya
Who will go this week: Sanjaya
Bottom three: Phil, Chris, and Sanjaya
Best hair: (tie) Melinda + Sanjaya

Phil Stacey:
I don't think he was as good as the judges made him out to be, but he was better than he has been in weeks. A cowboy hat would have covered those ears just fine, pardner.

Jordin Sparks:
Loved her looks, and her singing. Simon is right on that she could feasibly win this competition. Howwww-deee!

Sanjaya Malakar:
His performance was more unsettling than a Brokeback Mountain love scene. I'll tell you what. I almost couldn't watch this. I almost had to cover my eyes and ears. He sucked. He really sucked. I am talking Heath Ledger's belt buckle smacking him in the forehead SUCKED.
I mean, he was OK last week, but he SUCKED big time this week.

Lakisha Jones:
Big improvements in her wardrobe and I got goosebumps when she sang to Martina in rehearsals, but the song didn't work when she belted it out on stage. Too much power. Plus, Carrie Underwood is a tough act to follow, as she looks more delicious than a tall glass of milk at a chili cookoff.

Chris Richardson:
I didn't like it, as Chris couldn't inject any real feeling into the song. I just wanted it over after the first 30 seconds. He does get props for mentioning Virginia Tech though.

Melinda Doolittle:
Her new extensions really help her neckless look, and she survived country week. Now she can go back to singing old Motown hits. Also, kudos to Simon for calling her on the fake humility thing. I might like her if she can stop that. I also have to say I think she is really 45 and she faked her birth certificate to be in the competition.


Blake Lewis:
Not my favorite, but I still really liked it. Blake is the only one I look forward to seeing, now that my gratuitous T&A fix (Hayley) is gone. Even his look is growing on me, kind of a Sting thing going on.


4 comments:

TheWino said...

Should be voted off: Sanjaya
Bottom three: Sanjaya, Lakisha & Chris
Will be voted off: Sanjaya
BSC Award: Sanjaya & LaKisha
Cream of the crop: Jordin & Melinda


Random Notes: Phil wasn't half bad and sounded better on the recap when compared to the rest of the gang] but can you see him as a country singer? Maybe if he had dressed a little more like Tim McGraw I could see it. A cowboy hat would have been a nice touch - my eyes would have appreciated it. Jordin sounded good and controlled and yes she is only 17 but who cares? I know Randy keeps making a big deal about it and sure she’s young and doing pretty well for her age but in the end will her age help sell records? Not sure if it worked for JoJO when put out her debut album but what does an average consumer know. Finally what about that dress? The local Chinese restaurant called, they want their curtains back. Sanjaya did give us something to talk about, I guess. Bandana - Bad. Singing - Weak. Overall - He's a joke and really, really needs to go. Randy said it was like Karaoke, I say it wasn't like Karaoke, it was worse. LaKisha tried to cover a country song but really changed styles about half way through to gospel. I knew she would struggle when she was out of her comfort zone for songs and it really showed last night. Maybe she should have sung Jesus call 866-Idols-04. Chris was vocally all over the place and had the city look which just doesn't jive with the country song MayBerry. I haven't really like his last few performances and think he better really pick it up he plans on making it to the top 4. Melinda gave another professional singing performance and showed she can take a country song and really belt it out. She is by far the best signer of the group but is she the best performer or the next American Idol? this remains to be scene. Blake was ok but he too seemed to struggle with country which doesn't lend itself to his contemporary/urban singing style. When was the last time we heard him really make a song his own [beatbox/skat style]? What have the AI producers done with the real Blake Lewis?

Start Rant. Lastly I want to say to the AI product team LET SIMON SPEAK HIS MIND AND STOP CUTTING HIM OFF! You let Randy mumble about, umm, what ever it is he is saying and Paula can spend her on air time complementing the contestants clothing choices so why can't you let us hear the only guy who has a real opinion and [just in case no one has noticed] is spot on about 95% of the time. Tell Ryan to say the hell of stage until each judge is finished with their comments. Thank you. End of Rant.

Wino Out!

Anonymous said...

Lee Lee said.........

Voted off: Sanjay
Bottom Three: Sanjaya, his voice and his bandana
Will be voted off: Lakisha (oh yeah, going against the norm)
Cream of the crop: Melinda

Phil, should have totally worn a black cowboy hat then it would have been better but it was TERRIBLE.

Jordin, seriously...what was with the rubber dress. YUCK. The song started off boring and then it get better. Better than the rest (minus Melinda) but not great. p.s. Who cares that she is 17

Sanjaya, huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh is all I have to say about that.

Lakisha, was terrible and I had no idea what Martina McBride was talking about. Maybe it was better on piano only but nope nope nope! Carrie Underwood actually took a deep breathe after that one and said "I AM AWESOME". Cuz no one sings that one like Miss Underwood.

Chris was terrible. Why on EARTH would you pick that terrible song. Of the thousands to chose from....I just don't get it. Maybe pick an obscure song so when he screws it up no one knows the dif!

Melinda, again a CONSUMATE PRO! I voted for her 100 times last night in one hour. I will buy her CD.

Blake.........ummmm didn't get it.

Simon was 100% right when he told Melinda to stop acting surprised. I agree and maybe Joel may be a fan. I agree with Joel too on the robotics of Ms. Mcbride...kind of spooky. My boss told me today Kiss 108 said they finally figured out who Melinda looks like.....SHREIK......haahahahah
My poor Melinda!!! OK, she is not as cute as Miss 17 but at 45 she looks damn good for her age ;)

Anonymous said...

E:

Jesus call 866-IDOLS-04 is hilarious.

Lee-Lee:

Melinda = old and busted
Jordin = new hotness
You can buy Melinda's album, but it is just going to show that you like "oldies" radio.

Anonymous said...

Lee Lee Said........

Just remember J-Man, the baby boomers are taking over the world right now. Me and Melinda will do just fine.....................
But thanks for stopping by! You stay classy San Diego...